You might think this title is presumptuous or even preposterous. I would think it’s both if I was you and I didn’t know me. I have no illusions that I am or ever will be “Mother of the Year.” I’m not at all sure that there really even is such an award. What I do know is that I have these “Mother of the Year" moments. These are not moments where I bask in the right decisions that I make, the creative and healthy meals my kids devour, the way I calmly and empathetically deal with my daughter’s dramatics or my son’s public meltdowns. These moments are, more often than not, the times where I wonder if my neighbor can hear me yelling up the stairs to knock it off, I lose my patience in the produce aisle, or when my daughter's snarky tone sounds all too familiar, ahem. It's moments like these where I sarcastically give myself the "Mother of the Year" award. The truth is, I have lots of these moments. I have lots of really great, fulfilling, aha this is what it’s all about moments too, but those are so much easier to deal with than “Mother of the Year” moments.
At this point in life, I think I'm pretty aware of my strengths and weaknesses and fairly confident in what I do well. Parenthood, however, has opened up a whole new world of second-guessing and wondering if the decisions I make and the actions I take will benefit my children or cause them grief. This role is clearly the most impactful one I will ever play and some days, I fail miserably. I'm sure I'm not alone. The best way I know how to deal with this is with some reflection, endless phone calls to my best friend, and almost always with sarcasm and humor, hence my 'award'.
This blog is a place to vent, ponder, and commiserate on the place I am in my life these days, experiment with my love for design, exercise the "mommy brain" and most importantly perhaps, indulge in something that's mine and mine alone. There are many women who've inspired me to bite the bullet and sit down and write about it. I thought about it for a long time and now I'm going out on a limb and doing it. Join me on this ride. Let's take some risks. What are your "Mother of the Year Moments? I'd love to hear from you.
I am looking forward to your blog. It is great so far!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Beth! Love ya.
ReplyDeleteThis was wonderful. In fact, you had me at "mother of the year." My mother of the year moments occur when I forget about one of my daughter's basic needs in life. Like when I realize she's been screaming for the past 45 minutes because I never gave her lunch. Or when it finally dawns on me that the weird smell I have been trying to locate for an hour is actually coming from her diaper, or when I try to ignore her cries at 3am because it's the third night in a row she has made me get out of bed for no emergent reason and I have to work in the morning; only to finally discover that this time she has soaked through her diaper, pajamas and crib sheet.
ReplyDeleteI admire this blog. It's so difficult for me to manage all of the various roles I have to execute in one 24 hour period. I have somewhat lost my own sense of "self identity" and my personal interests. I remember what they are, but there's just no time. I admire your mission to be sincere, be vulnerable and be you. It will also help me to reflect upon myself. Thanks for sharing.
Cath, thank you so much. It means a lot. This blog has been brewing for a long time in my head. It really was born from the stresses you mentioned: I was starting to feel like my old self (and sometimes happier self) were somewhere distant. It was SO hard to bite the bullet and share it with people, but even if it's never read, I feel better doing it. You are so not alone, mama. Thanks for sharing. Hang in there. Love you.
ReplyDeleteErin I think it's wonderful that you started this blog and from what I've read it is sure to be an inspiration to others. You are a great mom and a very smart and creative person who has a lot to offer. I can certainly relate to those mother of the year moments! I'm looking forward to more of your musings and I'm glad that you had the courage to go out on a limb. I think we'll all enjoy the view.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words and encouragement Lisa! It really means a lot.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Erin! Good for you in following your heart and mind with this blog. It's nice to feel as mother's we are not alone. Just wanted to add a small but excellent piece of advice to the other "mother" followers. Don't lose yourself. Although it does happen to the best of us, be sure to recognize it quickly and find yourself! I did and once you are able to do that, not only will you reap the benefits but all those who love you will as well. Make sure to make time for yourself no matter how small it may be. When the "core" (you yourself) of the family is intact, everything else just seems to fall into place. Take it from someone who's experienced this first-hand! Thanks for sharing with us Erin. Greatl looking forward to following your blog and have already sent an invite for my friends to join! All my best! Love ya xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Christa for a)your kind words and encouragemet b)inviting your friends! and most importantly c)your fantastic, heartfelt advice. Other moms (especially ones who have been through it already) really are the best source of advice out there! xo- Erin
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